


All the Pretty Colors

by numb3r5ev3n



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 22:35:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1203043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numb3r5ev3n/pseuds/numb3r5ev3n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble. AU. Jane Crocker and the Grand Highblood, and how such a thing might come to pass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Pretty Colors

Jane doesn’t know what happened. She doesn’t know what weird time shit is responsible for her being here, with…him. The blue pirate lady said nothing when she deposited her here like a sack of loot offered in tribute, offering her nothing by way of explanation but cruel smirk.

She tries to tear her eyes away from the symbol on his trousers, up his magnificently muscled torso to the skeletal fright mask of his face, to the majestic sweep of his horns above his skull. She tries in vain to ignore the effect that his overwhemingly masculine presence is having upon her, when he growls;

“Honk HONK, my sister.”

“Uh, hi,” Jane stammers in response. That symbol. She can’t help but stare at it. And of course, he can’t help but notice her staring.

“Are you down with the clown, sister?” the Highblood asks, his skull-like smile growing wider. She tries to focus on his eyes instead of what is currently going on in his - crotchtal area. They are not at all the eyes of a sane being, and they are shining with the type of manic, ecstatic light that even a sheltered girl like herself recognizes as pure, unfettered madness.

“Um. I guess? I’m more of a baker, really.” Jane squeaks. The splashes of color adorning the walls around his throne are all too uncomfortably close to the vials that the clown was attempting to sell her so long ago. All too uncomfortably like…blood.

“The Mindfang tells me you’re in with Her Imperial Condescension. That you’re here from like, weird time shit. But you know what I think? I think it was _miracles_ ,” the Highblood says, getting up from his throne. He towers over Jane by over a foot – at least, until he drops to one knee.

“Show some motherfucking respect, motherfuckers!” he bellows to his subordinates. “Can’t you see we’re blessed by the presence of this Culinary Ninjette?” Jane flinches, startled as he suddenly takes her hand. She doesn’t see the weapon, a wicked blade like a scalpel - a trophy from some fallen greenblood. The wound on her hand is tiny. GCat has given her worse in his time. Yet the trickle of blood is shocking as it falls to the floor to mingle with the dried, crusted blood of all the trolls who were dragged here before her.

The Highblood grins. With one hand he paps her softly on the cheek, with a gentle shoosh. With the other, he draws a heart on the cavern floor.  
“Be one with the Subjuggulators, sister. Partake of the miracles. You’re motherfucking beautiful. Life is beautiful.”

 

  
…

  
The annals of events that came after didn’t speak of a pink mammal inducted into the ranks of the Subjuggulators. They didn’t speak of how she partook of the wicked elixir, or how the Grand Highblood disguised her alien features with dust and ashes, and a headpiece made from the horns of one of his previous victims. They did speak of his consort, the Culinary Ninjette, who appeared mysteriously out of nowhere as if by weird plot shit, with connections to the Condesce herself. The Ninjette brought with her the secrets of fucking magnets and delicious cake.

And they all agreed that it was pretty motherfucking miraculous.


End file.
